Dear Evelyn: I wish you would list a few of the most important things for us parents to keep in mind as we raise our children. We know there are multitudes of things we can choose to do that might help our children: Books and articles and Web sites and talk shows and radio programs are always discussing them. But if we had to list only 10 things that are really important, what would they be?
� Regina W., online
Dear Regina:
1. Try to truly and sincerely listen to children when they need to talk to you. Whether it’s a concern or just sharing an idea, it’s important to let them know their words, concerns and ideas are important. And think before you respond.
2. Do not assume that you know your child inside and out. Your perception is often colored by your own expectations, and your child is continually changing. Be ready to see and accept all the changing aspects of your child’s developing personality.
3. Give the child clear, simple rules and expectations. Do not be afraid to say “No” or “No, that is not acceptable.” Remember you are in charge, not the child. Saying “No” will not damage self-esteem; it will help your child learn self discipline.
4. Read books or do research to learn what your children are like at each age. When you know what to expect, it helps you take things in stride without over reacting.
5. Teach children to help out and do daily chores as members of the family team living under the same roof. If and when you give an allowance for “extra” jobs, help children learn about wise spending and saving.
6. Give children experiences that make them learn to make choices. Help them to learn to make choices in their best long-term interest by insisting that they accept the consequences of poor choices.
7. Teach them delayed gratification. If you let them have whatever they want when they want it, you aren’t preparing them for the real world. They need to learn the difference between wants and needs, and how to earn and save up for wants.
8. Be vigilant in making time to eat meals together. Conversing as a family over the meal is one of the most important ways we pass on our family values.
9. Make it a priority to play family games or have some real family fun as often as you can, at least once a week. Playing games, going on hikes or having picnics are ways to have free fun. We need to take time and find ways to laugh and enjoy each other as real people, face to face.
10. Teach children that every privilege comes with a responsibility.
expectation,multitudes
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