Visit Disney World by Myself

The “I’ in question here is Seth Stevenson, so I’m pretty sure it’s so he could mine the Mouse for laughs and cultural insight. And, typically, he does so in an entertaining Well-Traveled series this week at Slate. In his own words, though, he says he decided to spend five days entirely within the Disney universe basically “to figure out what the hell’s going on in this place. Because America has clearly decided it’s hallowed ground.”

His mission isn’t completely original, and he knows it:

As has been noted in many a dissertation, we visit Disney World to savor the meticulous construction—physical, mythical, and emotional—of a universe that’s completely fake and soulless.

But oh, how beautifully soulless it is. Upon leaving the Great Movie Ride, I walk down a facsimile of Sunset Boulevard. Here, I notice the asphalt under my feet has rubbed away in spots, revealing the old streetcar tracks beneath. Of course, there never was a streetcar. And its tracks were never paved over to make way for the automobile age. And that pavement was never subsequently eaten away by the ravages of time. In fact, this entire fake history came into being all at once, fully formed, plopped on top of some Florida scrub land. As famed Baudrillard scholar Michael Eisner announced at the opening of the park in 1989: “Welcome to the Hollywood that never was and always will be.”

I think it’s these interstitial moments—the seamlessness and the attention to detail—that really stun Disney visitors and stay with them long after they’ve left. The rides are great, sure, but every amusement park has rides. Disney creates fully realized narratives.

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